Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
