I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
