so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
