it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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