I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He better not be in your backpack
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
