he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
