SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize