I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
