i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
