I will die if light touches me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
