I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
