No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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