ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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