I have demons in me.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
