Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize