peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
