I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
