Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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