All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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