Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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