we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
