He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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