Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
