its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Alive.
So much puke
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
