After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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