Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
