Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
