I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
