before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
