Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
