They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
