yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
