we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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