whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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