Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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