im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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