we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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