My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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