My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
