before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize