i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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