and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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