we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
