i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
