someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
