turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
