I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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