So drunk its hurt
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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