I must be too annoying 4 u.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
last night I used snow as a chaser
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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