Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
