You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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