you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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