At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
