are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
sarcasm needs its own font
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
