Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
