she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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