I just threw up on my dentist
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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