yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
